IWOKEUPLIKETHIS
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I Woke Up Like This

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No really, I did. And then I got right back in bed, fell asleep, and did it all over again. Crispy fried chicken… Cheeseburger waffles… All morning I be flossin’ on that, flawless.

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TurFucken_Official
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The Fowl-atio Burger

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With this tuducken burger in my belly, I have much to be turfankful for… Namely crispy duck skin, a juicy seasoned turkey patty, creamy chicken liver pate, a bright brussel salad, a masterfully balanced, ‘Chups cranberry ketchup, and of course tryptophan… Sweet, sweet, tryptozzzzz.

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The Umilfy Burger

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There’s umami… And then there’s UMILFY. This savory bombshell of sensuality knows exactly how to get those juices flowing. Sandwiched between two squishy brioche buns, lathered in kimchi ketchup (h/t) and a black garlic aioli, this cougar comes stacked with a beef patty ground with smoked bacon, sauteed onions, marinated in black vinegar, and adorned with some white miso, parmesan bacon (h/t). Helllllo Mrs. Robinson!

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CreamedPorn
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Creamed Porn

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I should probably start off by saying, I LOVE me some creamed corn porn. Fresh out of the skillet… Fresh out of the can… Whatever. This southern-sullied sexploit brings out the sinner in me. I’m talking a grass fed beef patty, ground with pork belly, topped with cheddar, creamed with corn, a cold smoked tomato, pickled okra, a crispy watercress/pea shoot salad, AND a mustard green aioli to boot. Sure, this beauty is well endowed, but since when is size an issue? I read somewhere, it’s all about the motion in the ocean… Whatever that means.

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The Willem Dafoenut

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This American badass with French roots delivers an intensely layered performance sandwiched on a buttery parmesan cronut, with beef marrow french onion dip, cornichon relish, and black peppered bacon. What do you think? Dafriend or Dafoe?

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Birthday Sex

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This burger is soooooo good, my friend Jeremih went and wrote a song about it. Now, you can have your burg-day cake and eat it too. This savory Kalamata olive, Bing cherry, and caramelized onion cake, comes layered with creamy foie gras mousse, two grass-fed beef patties, bacon, onion jam, and a truffle whipped goat cheese. Go ahead, blow out your candles and make a wish… I’ll wait.

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The Yorkshire Pud-tang

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This Yorkshire pudonk-a-donk has got some serious junk in it’s trunk. Naw what I mean? Stuffed inside a deliciously golden yorkshire pudding, sits a braised lamb beauty, sauced with a rich demi glace, and crowned with a potato and parsnip gratin, crispy shoestring onion rings, and mustard caviar. Stay calm and burger on.

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